Spence Smith

When you are going out for your first run or your first few rides on your bike, there’s the big question that always looms in the back of every beginner’s mind.

How do I do this and not get hit by a car!!!

If you are like me, I know you’ve been driving down a busy road and seen a runner coming towards you or you’ve had to slow down to wait for the right moment to go around the cyclist ahead of you. I’m sure you must have thought about how dangerous it seems right?

Before I get into each sport, let me say this one overall rule of thumb. Whether I’m on a bike or out running, I always look for the least traveled roads or the widest roads with whatever bike lanes I can find.

While living in Nashville, I stuck to places runners and cyclist typically go. Chances are motorists are used to them. My favorite place to ride was the Natchez Trace. There are usually more cyclists there than cars.

My favorite running in Franklin is the neighborhood trails around downtown and Pinkerton Park. My other favorite running route in Nashville is Beale Meade Blvd or Moran road to the Old Natchez Trace rd. The key… not as many cars.

However, if you stick to these few simple tips, you will put yourself on the offensive side of safety and keep you out of harms way.

Running

1. Wear bright reflective clothing. If you are in the right light where someone can see you because of your clothing, good. You want them to see you. If the sun is going down, their car headlights will grab your reflective clothing and you will shine enough for them to see you and know to go around you.

2. Always run against the traffic. I can’t stress this enough. You want to see the traffic ahead of you. Since you are smaller than a car, you will have a better chance of getting out of the way of the car should the driver not see you and come too close or come right at you. This puts you on the offensive side and not on the vulnerable side.

3. When running with a group or a running partner, run single file when oncoming traffic approaches. Again, this gives you more control of what’s going on and allows you the chance to move out of the way when needed.

4. When running past someone. Yell which side you are passing them on so they aren’t caught of guard by you. This usually happens on the left side of the person you are passing. Just yell, “LEFT!”

5. Obey all traffic signals when you get to a corner just as if you were walking across the street. Use crosswalks and if you have to stop for a minute, it’s not going to kill your run.

6. Buy a Road ID. If anything should happen to you while you are running, whoever finds you will have quick access to your emergency contact and medical info for the EMT.

Road ID

Cycling

7. This is where things change a bit.

8. Cyclists have the same right to be on the road as cars do. READ THIS AGAIN. Cyclists also have to obey the same traffic laws as motorists do.

9. Ride WITH the traffic. Not against the traffic.

10. Wear reflective clothing when needed.

11. Use hand signals when turning.

12. ALWAYS look over your left shoulder before moving into the left lane to turn.

13. ALWAYS ride on the right side of the lane as close to the white line as you can get unless you have a bike lane to use.

14. Never make sudden movements when cars are about to pass you.

15. Never listen to music when riding your bike. Here’s why. You are riding with the traffic and you need to be able to hear when a car or semi truck is approaching. If you are listening to music then chances are you can’t really hear everything going on around you. Then during that great part in the song where your mind is off in music world, a car will sneak up on you and scare the-you-know-what out of you. At that moment, you might jerk your wheel the wrong way and either go into the car to your left or the ditch to your right. Either way it’s not going to be pretty and it could have been avoid if you were listening for them.

Don’t think it doesn’t happen. I used to ride with music. Then I tried riding with just my right ear bud in so I could hear cars on my left. Still… not as good, but better. Eventually, I got rid of the music. Trust me. It’s for your own safety.

When riding with a group, learn these terms..

16. Car back – it’s when you hear a car coming up from behind you. Yell “CAR BACK!!” and those in front of you will repeat it so that everyone in the group knows there is a car about to pass.

17. Car Forward – same as car back but this is for cars coming towards you. This allows those in the group that might not be looking up at the moment to know there’s a car coming in the other lane. Again, you yell it out for all to hear.

18. When riding with a group, learn to point to obstructions in the road for those who are riding behind you. Potholes, gravel, and sticks. Remember, your road tires are more delicate than mountain bike tires. I’ve had flats from hit a tiny rock before so avoid anything in the road that you might think will pop a tire or send you flying off your bike.

19. Ride single file in traffic.

20. When passing other riders, try to pass on their left. When you are about to pass them yell, “LEFT!!” and pass with caution.

21. Buy a Road ID. If anything should happen to you while you are running, whoever finds you will have quick access to your emergency contact and medical info for EMT.

To all of you who get frustrated with cyclists as you are driving your car.

I hear this often from other drivers…

Cyclists think they own the road…

I just want to put a few things in perspective for those of you… us… who are driving vehicles while passing a cyclist.

• Cyclists have to obey the same road laws you do and have just as much of a right to be on the road as you.
• Your vehicle weighs over 4,000lbs and you are protected by the shell of the vehicle tied in with a seatbelt and have air bags. Cyclists are riding on a bike that weighs less that 20lbs and are wearing a helmet. That’s it.
• Pro cyclists race between 25mph – 30plus mph. The average cyclist rides at 15mph – 20mph. that’s it. We can’t go any faster so please stop acting as if we can.
• Most states have a 3-foot law. The motorist has to give a cyclist at least 3 feet of space.
• Most cycling injuries that involve a motorist are caused by the motorist. Some ending in death and an involuntary manslaughter charge. So think before you decide to scare that cyclist the next time you get frustrated. You could cause death for them and jail time for you with little effort.

The bottom line here is this. Cyclists CAN’T own the road. Cyclist only take up two feet of the road at one anytime. When you are driving a car, you are driving what could be a very dangerous driving machine. Drive too close to a cyclist and that cyclist could fly off the road. Hopefully with little injury but acts like this have ended in people being permanently paralyzed, nursing a few broken bones or dead.

Yes, we cyclists take the responsibility of putting our lives in danger by just riding a bike. But we need motorists to help us out a bit. Be more patient when trying to pass us and we will do our best to help you get around us safely. Please, we don’t need you scarring us just because you can bully us with your car.

And that’s what it really is when you are the bigger presence with the damaging force of a car… Bullying.

So there you go.

These few tips will get you on your way to some safe training.

Any Questions? Any tips you would like to share?

This week I get to spend some time with friends talking about living a better Story. Thanks Donald Miller.

There’s no doubt, we all are living our own story. Each day we wake up and make decisions that lead our story in certain directions about our faith, family, work, friends, and hobbies.

And everyday we are faced with a choice.

I wish we could look into the future to know how our lives will eventually end up, but what we can focus on for the future is leaving the kind of legacy our families, friends… and for some of you… fans will be proud of.

Leaving a legacy means living a better story today.

We all have the same 24 hours in a day, what choices are you going to make with your 24 hours?

You know those decisions you know you need to make? Today is just as good of a day to start as any.

In the words of Ken Davis… “I’m choosing to live my life fully alive.”

How are you living a better story to leave an even better legacy?

You’ve decided to get into cycling or triathlon and you want to buy your first bike.

Now what. Where do you start?

Much like yesterday’s post about getting into the right running shoe, buying a bike is all about the fit. Of course, starting out, everyone wants to buy the least expensive bike and go from there but most people tend to go with too cheap and pay a bigger price in injuries or not liking the experience because the bought the wrong bike.

The same place you start with buying running shoes is the same place you start with buying your first bike. It all begins with getting the right size of bike.

Actually, I should back up a bit. You should really decide first on what style of bike you want.

If you are looking for something to stroll down Main Street and put a little basket on the front, then you probably don’t need this post.

However, outside of being triathlon specific, you really need to determine if you are going to get a mountain bike so you can hit the trails or do you want a road bike so you can go out for long smooth rides.

The way you get into each of them is all the same.

• Find a local bike shop. Bike shops are always well equipped with great staff that know their stuff because they are experienced cyclists and are very used to first time buyers coming in for that first time experience. (Wal-Mart and Target are not a real bike shops.) Find a friend who likes to ride, ask them to take you to their favorite bike shop and walk with you through part of the process. This is always a major help and it never hurts to have a friend by your side that knows a little more than you.
•  Zero in on a bike that fits your budget. Once you get to the store, start talking about what you are looking to do and why you want a bike. All shops will work with you on your budget. I’ve seen knew bikes as low as $500 and as expensive as $12,000. Keep in mind you will need cycling shoes, pedals, helmet, bike computer and cycling clothes. It adds up quick but once you make that initial investment, you are good for a bit.
• Focus on the size and fit of the bike. You see bikes are made in different sizes. So when you see someone riding a nice bike. It doesn’t come in that one size. It comes in all sizes. Once you have found the right size bike then the staff will fit the bike to your body. Which means, they will adjust the seat to the right height, angle and make sure your feet sit properly on your pedals. They will also take a look at your handle bar placement.

I’d like to caution you on two other ways to get into a bike.

Borrowing From A Friend. Several of my friends have said over and over. I’m not sure I can afford a bike but my friend has one I can use. I will just borrow theirs.

That’s fine. In fact, my first road bike is out on permanent loan to a good friend of mine.
Here’s the catch though. I felt comfortable letting my friend use my road bike because of one huge and deal-breaking factor. He and I are the same height.

If your friend is a foot shorter than you, believe me, you might as well try to borrow their jeans to wear. It’s just not going to be the same as if you were actually wearing your size. In fact, you’re going to hate it.

So, if you need to borrow a bike. Make sure you are the same height. Chances are your friend went out and did the work to get the right size and fit. You will benefit from the majority of that effort. If anything should happen to the bike while you have it, it’s your responsibility to get it repaired and to keep it in great condition.

Even though, my friend is the same height, he still needed to take it to the bike shop to make sure the seat placement and handlebars were in the right position for him. He has longer legs than me and I have a longer torso than him, so the positioning needed adjustment.  Either way, he still needed help at the bike shop.

Buying A Bike From Craigslist or eBay. I only recommend this if you are an experienced cyclist who knows the size of bike they need and know what they are looking for from a picture and description.

There’s no doubt going this route will save you money, but if this is your first purchase and you want to do it right, it won’t save you time. You will still need to go to a bike shop to have them size you and once you have bought your bike you will still need to go to a bike shop to insure the most proper fit and have them put your pedals on your bike if you don’t have the right tools to do that already.

 If you have an experienced cycling friend who is willing to do all of this for you, then great, it saves you even more money.

But my vote will always be to spend a little extra on the front end to get you started in the right direction.

Sounds like a lot right? It is… but it’s worth it.

It’s the difference in loving the cycling experience or not. It’s the difference in riding 15 uncomfortable miles or 50 miles in comfort.

Now, for all those looking to do your first triathlon, it’s better for you to get a road bike first to make sure you get comfortable with the sport as a whole.  Once you catch the bug and want to go faster and improve then move into a triathlon bike.

The differences between a triathlon (time trial) bike and a road bike are this…

• Triathlon bikes are more compact and aerodynamic. Since aero-bars are the main focus of the front of the bike, you are constantly in a downward position that requires a whole other set of muscles and makes you very streamline and fast.
• Another difference is because your body position is down in the bars; the distance between the seat and the bars is shorter on a triathlon bike than on a normal road bike. When aero bars are placed on a regular road bike, the bike fit has to be adjusted a lot because your back is being stretched further than it should be stretched.
•  Also, the angle your body sits (hip/leg angle) on the triathlon bike is better for your transition of muscles into running.

Triathlon Bike - Notice the downward position of the arms

Road Bikes

So go out and find the right bike for you and enjoy the ride.

Any questions? Any useful tips on your first bike experience?

Getting started on your running plan is like taking a road trip. You have your map and you know about how long it’s going to take you to get there. You have a used car you’ve never driven across the country and it’s tires barely have tread and are not even the right style for long distances. But you might not know that. You might just go get any old tire that will do. Without telling the tire mechanic what kind of tires you really need… and we all know that if you have bad tires, the chances are high for getting a flat or having a blowout that causes an accident.

I’ve been running now for about 7 years. Wait, let me clarify that statement…

I’ve been running on and off for about 15 years. The last 7 years of which I’ve loved the experience. The first 8 years were met with frustration, injury and failure.

I get asked this question a lot. I’m going to start running. What do I do first?

Easy. Get a great pair of running shoes.

And you might think… Easy, I’ll head to the mall, target or walmart and get a cheap good-looking pair sneakers to run in.

Wrong.

The key to having a great running experience starts with running in the right shoe FOR YOU.

These days, most cities have stores dedicated to running or multisport (triathlon) and are staffed with experienced runners who know how to fit a person in the right shoe according to how they run. Which means they watch you run at the store and fit you according to what they see and the information they get from you about your experience or your goals you want to accomplish.

When I lived in Nashville, Fleet Feet Sports in Brentwood did a great job of getting me in the right pair FOR ME. In Colorado, we have Colorado Running Company, Runners Roost, Boulder Running Company and my personal favorite – Newton Running Company, which based in Boulder, CO and offers free clinics weekly.( Newton running shoes have changed everything about the way I run. Part of the reason is all the instructional videos and info on running form they have on their site. Brilliant.)

Most people don’t realize running shoes are made in three varieties. These varieties are made based on how a person’s foot lands on the pavement. Which means to the running world, there are only three types of feet to fit for running.

OverPronator

Neutral Pronator

UnderPronator

(Click here to understand more about the three)

I’m a neutral runner, so when I go looking for shoes, one of the first things they are going to ask me is which type I am. If I don’t know, then they will throw me into a pair of shoes and watch me run from behind so they can watch how my foot lands.

Once you figure this out, then you get to choose from whatever suits you in that variety.

Here are a few things to think about once you start narrowing in on the shoe you want.

My running shoes are one size bigger than what I normally wear. The reason is I want enough room in the toe box to not cramp my toes. This helps when it comes to those long miles and preventing lost toenails you hear about. Plus the less constricted my foot feels, the more natural my foot feels in the shoe.

And speaking of less constricted, I always wear Yankz laces on my shoes. They never come untied and you never risk the chance of tying your shoe too tight.

If you are looking to do triathlons, Yankz are a must to get into your shoes as fast as possible.

The last thing you want to think about is getting good running socks. No cotton tube socks! You will see running socks in any decent running store. Most of them provide some form of support or compression and help the overall experience in how your feet feel.

Here’s the bottom line.

If your feet don’t feel good, eventually the rest of your body isn’t going to feel good. The impact starts with your feet. So the more you protect and baby them, the less you have to worry about.

There’s a lot I’m not saying about running form, which is another factor in your overall running experience and prevention of injury.

So… I hope this gets some of you started in the right foot so you can be off and running in no time.

Do you have any questions? Any helpful shoe tips from those who have been running?

You would think the terms Resolution and Goals are the same, but they are not.

Check out these definitions from Dictionary.com

Resolution

1. a formal expression of opinion or intention made, usually after voting, by a formal organization, a legislature, a club, or other group. Compare concurrent resolution, joint resolution.

2. a resolve or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something.

Goals

1. the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end.

The word resolution always feels passive to me. As if it’s an easy commitment to back out of. To make a firm resolution to do something?  It just doesn’t have quite the staying power of The result or achievement toward which effort is directed.

You see, for the past several years, I’ve stopped making new years resolutions and opted for setting a few goals that have an end result to them. Be it a specific date or a specific end in sight. Something tangible that’s clear to see.

The best example of this was when I did my first half marathon. I set a goal in the new year. Signed up for the race, trained and ran the race. By april of that year I had run my first half marathon.

For the physical side of my life, I now sign up for races as my goal for that year. This year I’m looking at 4 triathlon races and a couple of half marathons. The great thing is a can use each race as a checkpoint along the way to make sure I’m hitting the goals I’ve set for each race.

Life seems to have more order for me when I set goals. When I set resolutions? It makes no sense. I mean, when else in the year do you really use the word resolution? It’s not even a word we stick to through out the year!

Are you setting goals or resultions? What goals have you set for yourself in 2012?

Last week, after talking to Michael and Gail Hyatt, Krissy and I decided to watch a great documentary called Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. It’s about a guy who saw his life slipping away because of his bad eating habits and lifestyle. He then decides to take charge and document his turn around. The catch here is he juiced for 60 days. That right. Juiced.

I’ve heard of people juicing but honestly. I never really knew what they were talking about. Drinking your fruits and veggies? Really?

After watching the documentary, Krissy and I were in. The next day we bought a juicer, hit the grocery store and were all ready to go for day 1… December 30.

The first day of juicing was trial and error for sure. Even though there are some great recipes for juicing, getting the right combo wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be, but we quickly found out what we like and what we don’t like.

The first two days we had some light headaches. This comes from your body detoxing, but on the third day I felt great.

However… Sunday night we went to a family gathering and gave ourselves the room to cheat a bit since we knew there was going to be a lot of food around.

I’m not sure what I ate exactly but around 4am Monday morning, it all came out of me and landed me in bed the entire day. I’m feeling pretty good now but Monday was rough one.

All of this got me thinking though. Living a healthy and active lifestyle is a choice and the choices we make affect every area of our lives.

The choices we make when it comes to our physical lives affect everyone around us. The more energy you have and the better shape you are in, the more you can enjoy life with you family right?

I seem to hear these stories more and more. “I want to be healthy so that I can enjoy life with my kids… so I can enjoy life with my spouse… or be able to go enjoy the parts of like that are important to me.”

What are you doing to create a lifestyle of good choices?

After almost 11 years traveling overseas with Compassion International. I’m not sure how to put yesterday into words. I’ve seen a lot of rough places in my life. Walked the streets surrounded by the meanest and deadliest gangs in the world and protected by them because their kids are educated and cared for by Compassion.

I’ve been in the largest slum in Africa, Kibera. One million people living in a 3 mile by 6 mile plot of land… and walked on the human waste that fills its streets and covers its area in the most god-awful smell.

But nothing prepared me to see people living in a cemetery. Literally. Their houses are built of whatever wood, cardboard, or alumni they can find. If they need to use the side of a tomb for a wall… they do.

In my head, I know the bones they sleep on, walk on, hang out on… play on are just that now… bones. No souls.

But I’ve always had a deep respect, as must do, for where the dead are buried and the meaning their lives once had in the lives of their friends and families.

But to live a life where your only place you can now live is a grave site… It just doesn’t make sense.

None of the poverty I’ve experienced in my travels ever truly makes sense, but I’m used to the order in which people live in poverty,there’s a loose code within these communities but still….

I think for even those living in extreme poverty, a cemetery would be a deal breaker.

I’m writing this in a very stream of consciousness kind of way. I’m processing at the same time I’m writing.

My thoughts, the way I feel, the reason behind what I’ve seen isn’t quite formed except to say… I don’t get it.

If you have seen what I have seen then you could probably relate. If you haven’t… well… just know… It makes no sense.

That’s all.

When the kids are here at the house, things get pretty fun. There’s always laughter, a good story to tell and food. Yep food. Someone in this family is always cooking something and it’s usually not me.

Alex is 12. In so many ways he is 100% 12 year old boy trying to figure out his way through middle school. You know what I mean…

Me: How’s school?

Him: Fine.

Me: Have a good day?

Him: Yep.

It’s amazing how much you can learn with one word right? Right… I remember when I was that age.

So then there’s this side of him that completely cracks me up.

When he gets bored, he does something productive!!

Yep…

You can read that again. He gets bored=He gets productive.

Really? Who does that!

Let’s start with vacuuming.

We bought a dyson which he thinks is the coolest thing ever. In fact, it’s so cool that when he and I went to Sears he saw a whole line of dysons next to the one we bought and got a little geeked out. He said, “You know how some people collect cars and just let most of them sit and use them every once in while even though they have a favorite? I would do that with all of these dysons…I especially love the handle wireless one.”

Really? I love this kid.

So then yesterday, I come home and the whole house has been vacuumed. He said he got bored so he decided to vacuum the house!!

Really?? I love this kid.

Yesterday morning he woke up and made pancakes. Why? He was bored.

Then he unloaded the dishwasher and washed more dishes. Why? He was bored.

This morning he got up and immediately took a shower. Why? He was bored.

Last week, we were out looking for a table for the house. Alex calls and says, “would you bring home some brown sugar? I got bored so I’m making some rice cakes from Biju uncle’s Feed Zone Cookbook.”

Really? I LOVE THIS KID!

So, I don’t ever want Alex to get bored, but I’m kind of thinking it works toward our advantage.

Boredom creates productivity for this kiddo and it’s keeping our house clean, him clean and food on the table!

WHO KNEW!!!!

Do you experience this with your kids? Because I’m pretty sure that when I got bored at home I either played my drums or super mario brothers.

This past Friday I got to take of tour of the LIVESTRONG office. ( Thanks Biju for introducing me to Chris Brewer). While Chris was explaining to me all things LIVESTRONG, he also explained to me the work environment that allows their staff to be so effective.

Photo Credit: LIVESTRONG HQ Facebook Page

I saw a lot in the short 30 minutes I was there.

Every piece of art on display was either donated from their supporters or Lance Armstrong’s personal collection and had very specific meaning to its placement in their office. The symbolism of “Hope Lives” was everywhere and the mission of why they do what they do was the focal point of everything. Not to mention all the woodwork was repurposed wood from the previous owner of their building when it was a warehouse.

It was the greenest building I’ve ever been in.

Well thought out, simple, super efficient and inexpensive to maintain.

As I walked around, I saw a huge open space of cubical’s that stood no higher than 4 feet tall. Not six feet tall like most of us are used to seeing or working in. Even the CEO, Doug Ulman, operates in an open space like this. As Chris continued to tell me about their work environment, I suddenly realized what he had been telling me about their workspace.

It was all designed around transparency within community. Four foot cubicals keep everyone within eye contact of each other which tends to allow for people to share ideas and conversations more openly.

There were separate stand alone rooms for group meetings. If the room had a door, then one of the four walls is all glass.

Again, transparency… even with a closed door.

Then there were a few enclosures set up for people to meet or just hang out, relax and get a little refreshed. No doors were on these enclosures and usually had only two walls (as you can see in the photo above). If you were to meet with the CEO, you would be meeting in an enclosure similar to this. There were no two meeting spaces a like.

The way the stand alone rooms and enclosures were positioned creates an atmosphere of working in a neighborhood of friends. No two enclosures lined up with each other and they all opened up into the open space. I loved it.

The most intriguing part was this.

There are no sick days, vacation days or office hours.

Exactly.

Take time off when you’re sick. Set your schedule and take vacation as you need it… as long as you are getting your work done.

I love this. Anytime you give people ownership to make something happen and equip them with the tools to get the job done… people… teams… organizations succeed.

I’m fortunate to work from home and my hours are somewhat flexible as long as I’m getting my job done and make myself available.

I see this happening more and more in the work environment and it’s being met with great results. ( Check out the book Why Work Suck And How To Fix It ) But it bums me out to see some bosses who are a little to old school and not trusting enough to let their employees do their job the best way they know how. As if being at the office from 9-5 means you are getting your job done.

I’m a pretty big advocate on creating the right workspace. If you are like me, I can’t get anything done if the space around me is cluttered and feels too closed off.

Getting the right amount of natural light and fresh air really do make a difference for me. Even if I go to a coffee shop to get some work done. I need to be setting in the right place in the coffee shop in order to feel like I can be more productive.

Setting yourself up to succeed at what you do is so important. It’s key.

Don’t overlook or underestimate the importance of the environment you work in. It could make or break the experience for you and the way you perform in your job.

When I think about all the detail that went into LIVESTRONG HQ.

It comes down to this…

Creating the best work environment professionally and relationally so that their staff can focus all their energy in serving those with cancer. The less they have to worry about in their immediate space, the more they can help others around the world.

B y the way, if you would like to check them out and support them, click here livestrong.org. I do.

How about you? What is your workspace like? Work from home? Work in the office? How do you set yourself up to be more productive and do your job well?

Back in September I was talking to my friend, Dan Perkins about the events of this past summer and he said something that really struck a chord with me.

Dan is a great triathlete and he has three nails on his wall. The first nail holds finisher medals for Ironman races, the second nail holds Half Ironman races and the third nail holds Olympic Distance, Sprints and any other race he has a medal for.

He says, when I put the medal on the nail… it’s done. That race is over and all the preparation that went into it.

It’s done.

It also signals a time to move onto what’s next and to start new.

This had a big impact on me when he told me this.

It’s like a race. All the training and preparation is the time when you work up to the big race day. The race day ends up being a celebration of the training and time put into the event. By the time you get to the race, you have raced trained the miles over and over again already. Now it’s time to enjoy that race day and go for it.

The reality of training is very much like life. There are training days where nothing goes wrong. No injuries, no mechanical issues and no wrecks. Then there are days where you might experience pulled muscles, cracked bicycle frames, bad shoes, bad nutrition… you get the picture…

I look back on my life, my past and I realize how important my past is and how it plays into today and feeling the past 5 months coming to the close of a long transition.

I’m really thankful for every part of my past. Every part. Some parts have been really tough and difficult. But I’m thankful for them and the people involved because of what I learned about my experiences. I’ve learned that there are times to celebrate and times to grieve loss. But all of these times I’ve learned something new about the responsibility of who I am and how I am changing to be comfortable in my own skin.

I don’t ever think people are so set they can’t continue to grow. I think this comes down to a choice we have to make – A choice to continue to walk through life well… and to keep growing in the process.

So… This week marks for me the end of a long transition that felt more like training for a big race.

The past five months is now on the nail and it’s time to start the next chapter.

Question: When you come to the end of a chapter of your life, how do you walk into the next chapter?

Now that I’m walking into being a stepfather, I’ve been noticing a few things about me that I need to shore up. You see, I’m feeling the need, want and desire to be a much better example to these two incredible kids whose lives I get to be apart of. Not just in the real world we live in but the the virtual world as well.

I don’t want them to be embarrassed of my online presence and I want to set the right example for their online presence as well.

I’ve never known what it is to be a parent. I love kids and I love these two kids the most. I look forward to every day I get to be with them because I know I’m always going to experience something funny with them or get surprised with some sweet moments of just being together. We have those moments together where they ask questions and want real answers and there are those moments when I get to ask them questions… to get them thinking a little bit.

As I walk along side these little lives, I’m noticing something…

For all you parents out there, I know you know what I’m about to say…

These kids notice everything. Even the things I don’t think they notice… they notice. It’s eye opening for me, but also a great reminder of the man I need to be… and also the man I want to be.

So, as I have been stepping up things, I’ve been going through my life… like re-arranging my closet so that I know what I have in me that needs to stay or go away. Again… A little eye-opening for me. I’m not single anymore and I can’t live like I’m the only one I answer too. It’s amazing how much has changed in this part of my life in the past two months.

One of the big things I’m paying attention to these days is the example I set for them online.

They are on Facebook with their friends. They sit down and watch YouTube just as much or more than they turn on the TV. They are engaged in community with their family and friends online… and they see what I do, what I say… and ultimately how I live my life… even online.

If the kids are paying attention to what I’m putting out on twitter or facebook, then I figure others are as well right? So, some of the things I used to throw out there won’t be coming out in my twitter stream or showing up on facebook like they once did.

The changes will be subtle and some of you might not even notice, but I will… and so will the kids.

I think it’s important for the online world to be a place where people learn from others and are encouraged to move forward in life. Not a place to bully people. It’s not a place to air out our anger against others or to bring someone down in a 140 character statement or a blog post. I don’t want these kids thinking it’s ok to do that or that it’s even productive for anyone. Honestly, I think when people bring others down online, it’s a selfish move. I’ve seen it happen in these kids lives with their friends and it was devastating, but also an important time teach them how to be with their friends online and how to handle them in real life.

How about you? How do you view your example online and where do you draw the line?