Spence Smith

Ben Davis does life… very well these days.

I saw this video when it came out a couple of years ago and saw it again this past weekend. When I watched the first time, I teared up at the end when I realized the Ironman finish line Ben Davis was crossing was Ironman Louisville, which I had raced the year before in 2009. I haven’t had to lose 120lbs but I know the journey to Ironman all to well.

I see videos like this and I’m continually inspired to do more and go farther than I’ve ever gone.

I watch this video and think the same thing about Ben that I do about me when it comes to change.

If I can do it, you can do it.

Don’t ever think life can’t change for you.

Don’t ever think you can’t put your mind to something and accomplish something bigger.

Don’t ever think you have to settle for a life you don’t want or one that’s not healthy.

God gives us the ability to go beyond what we think we are capable of.

When you watch this video, don’t think to yourself… I’ll never be able to do that.

If Ben Davis can do it, you can do it.

You have to want to do it.

Since this video, Ben has been running like crazy and doing well. You can follow his progress on his blog Ben Does Life and follow him on twitter. @bendoeslife

Enjoy.

I heard this from a new friend of mine who was updating a presentation he makes from time to time.

Of course, I lit up when he said this because we have been juicing at home since the first of the year and if there is one thing we have learned… there is some juice that’s worth the squeeze… and some that’s not.

It’s a question that’s been with me since he said it.

Think about how many situations in life you could ask this question around.

Is the effort I’m about to put into this next thing going to be worth the outcome that it produces?

Is the amount of time I’m putting into this project worth the end result?

Am I working to hard for something that won’t really happen or won’t really matter in the end?

How can I focus my energy into things that really matter?

How can I work on something that’s going to have focused results? Meaningful results? Or heck… that’s going to produce income!

What kind of time can I give away now that will benefit me down the road with a paying project?

What can I give away of myself to help out others?

What are you working on right now that you could walk away from knowing it won’t produce much of anything for you?

What could you be working on right now that would be worth the squeeze?

Ok people… let’s get after it.

Go squeeze some good juice.

I was reading a magazine recently and there was a great article full of celebrities, sports figures and world leaders talking about the best advice they ever got.

It caused me to think about the best advice I’ve ever gotten as well.

My high school basketball coach, Bruce Davenport, gave our team advice that I’m still using today after all of these years.

He said, “Don’t’ let the play get in the way of the game.”

Yep. That’s it.

It says so much with so few words but can be applied in so many different areas of life.

Life, work, relationships… and games are all full of various rulebooks, play books and sets of standards to get us through almost any situation.

When you look at it from a game perspective, what our coach was trying to say to us was this.

We know these plays will help us score points and win a game, but there are going to be times when the play isn’t working at all. Don’t pass up the opportunity to take a shot when the moment is right or pass it to someone else who is open. It’s ok to divert from the play if it means you still have a shot in the game.

The game… winning the game is more important that following the play every time. You have to adjust when necessary.

Sometimes, sticking to the play will cost you the game.

Life is like this isn’t it? Work is like this isn’t it? Sometimes you have to do something out of the norm to get the job done. Sometimes you have to take a chance to achieve the end result. Sometimes the normal lines of communication and  authority aren’t going to work.

And sometimes it’s up to you to figure out when to divert from the play and go for what you know is right and do it.

What is the best advice you ever got?

I’ve always felt like I’ve struggled with my weight or struggled with my confidence of what I think I looked like. It wasn’t until I got into running in 2004 that I really started to feel more confident about who I was and where I was going and how I perceived myself.

Since coming off the road in 2000 from playing 200 shows a year, my life took a better turn in some respects but health wise, I actually got worse. In a four year period I gained 45lbs and it wasn’t 45lbs of muscle either. I was traveling still, but not as much, eating out constantly and sitting in meetings at Starbucks a few times a week. Today I’m healthier than I’ve ever been and still about 20lbs away from where I want to be to race well. The difference is I have a lot more lean muscle mass and a lot more endurance than the average person.

The difference for me came when I decided that diets weren’t for me and trying to attain a certain weight wasn’t my thing.

Why?

I always quit to early or if I hit a certain goal I slowly went back to old habits. It was as if I was saying to myself… “ok, you are here now. You met a goal. Now what?”

Ah! Good question! Now what? Heck if I know! Let’s EAT!

That’s when I started to figured out that if I want to be healthy, feel healthy and look healthy then I need to change my lifestyle, not just my diet.

So I did.

Slowly.

I’m still not the healthiest eater but it’s under control now more than ever. Most of our meals are made at home and there are certain foods I tend to stay away from. Foods I don’t need, don’t make me feel well.

I’ve placed myself in a situation that holds me accountable by association. Does that make sense? I am surrounded by those who are very aware of what’s going into their bodies and that inspires me to treat myself better.

Also, I found a way to have an active lifestyle in a sport I love. Triathlon. I can go run when I want, bike when I want or jump in the pool. For some of you it might just be one of those… or it might be hiking, golfing, racketball or tennis. Whatever it is… it’s active and gets the heart pumping.

This way, if I want to be better at the sports I love to be active in, then it’s worth it for me to take care of my body in way that I can enjoy it’s benefits even more.

It’s a lifestyle now… not just a diet… not just a fad… and not even close to being an escape from life’s normal responsibilities.

It’s my responsibility to be as healthy as I can be for my wife and kids. For my job performance and the people I work with. For the relationship I have with my friends and family… and for those I want to inspire to get off the couch and do what seems to be the impossible.

It’s the clear mind I love having and the ability to feel grounded in who I am now.

Knowing that I am confident with who I am and how I perceive myself.

Who cares if I’m a little heavier than I was 10 years ago…

I feel better than I’ve ever felt and my outlook on life is healthy.

So the question for you is this.

What will it take for you to change your lifestyle to be a healthy one? What are the benefits you experience from living a healthy lifestyle?

I saw this video by Igniter Media during a presentation and thought you should see it. I relate to this video in so many ways, but mostly because I feel like I have spent so much of my life NOT doing what I should be doing and being afraid to take that first step. My life, as it is now, is a result of taking that One Small Step…. and then another… and then another.

It’s allowed me to run many steps along the way that I thought would not be possible. But that One Small Step changed my life. It gave me more clarity, more focus and allowed me to be the man I should be. The man I am now.

If I can do it, you can do it.

Enjoy.

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Now go do something.

Take that One Small Step.

After a few years of weekend training behind me, I’ve come to realize that a big weekend of training is just as much a mental challenge as it is a physical challenge.

If you are training for a half marathon or a full marathon, each and every weekend, your long runs continue to increase in mileage. To the point that you know… these miles are going to take a while so I better be prepared.

As I got ready for Ironman, my Saturdays and Sundays were consumed with training. A 100 mile ride on a Saturday could take 6-7 hours for me then a 15 mile run the next day followed by an hour and half swim. Easily another 4-5 hours gone from my Sunday.

That’s a lot in anyone’s book for one weekend not to mention having to do this for weeks on end and if you aren’t prepared mentally, it’s going to be even harder than it sounds.

This weekend I’m headed into some heavy training to kick off my 2012 triathlon season and just like learning to pace myself on a run or on a bike ride, mentally pacing myself is just as important.

Here are a few things I do mentally to get ready.

1. I prepare my gear ahead of time. I get together every piece of clothing or gadget I’m going to need for my training ready. I clean my bike, check the tires, lube the chain, charge up the bike computer and get my on-the-bike nutrition ready to go. I also get my running clothes, shoes and swim gear laid out. The less I have to think about my gear being ready, the more I focus on the training ahead of me.

2. I plan out my weekend of time spent with friends or family so that I can get in bed at a decent hour. Training for most of us takes place at an early hour and we need all the sleep we can get. I’ve been guilty of over doing it to the point that you would think I wasn’t training for anything and find myself worn out from a late night out.

3. Before I go out for dinner I get an idea of what i want to eat before I get there. What I eat today, fuels my body for tomorrow. It’s hard eating healthy when you aren’t eating at home. I usually look at the soups and a salad first then see if there is anything on the menu with fish and veggies. That’s my go-to. Yours might be different.

4. Plan Your Training Routes. Whether it’s running or cycling. Know where you are going and if at all possible plan some stops along the way in case you run out of liquids of food or need to go to the bathroom. There’s nothing more frustrating than running out of nutrition or needing to go have a little alone time in a clean bathroom.

5. Take your phone and a little extra cash. If you get stranded from exhaustion (hopefully not) or you get a flat and forgot your spare tube. It never hurts to be able to call someone to come pick you up. I’ve had to do it and it’s no fun. But sometimes it’s needed. Also… you never know when you need to buy an extra bottle of go juice or a snack. Take some cash. When I’m on my bike, I put my phone and cash in a zip-lock bag in case it rains or I spill liquid on it.

6. I think through the mileage I’m about to do. The miles might seem overwhelming but the more I break them down in my head to smaller chunks of miles, the easier it is for me mentally. Remember, training is a process.

When I think about this process, I find myself applying this to basic parts of my life. Traveling, Focused time with my wife, A weekend with the family.

In short, I think it pays to be prepared and ready and it’s honestly more of a load off my brain when I know I’m going into something more prepared.

Knowing what’s ahead of you and knowing how you will get there is half the battle.

The other half is just doing it.

If you aren’t new to this, how do you prepare for a weekend of training? Anything to add?

I’ve been putting together a very social media plan for some friends of mine to make sure they are started on the right foot as they are in the beginning stages of what could be a great ride.

Whenever I do this, I’m always reminded of the very basics needed to building an effective social media platform for any business or blogger.

1. Know where you are going. When a person comes to your site, what do you want them to do? Unorganized, cluttered, hard to read sites turn people off. A person should be able to come to your site and know exactly what you are about with little effort. A clean, easy to read site with good content always wins and the easier it is for people to buy product on your site the better. If I have to keep clicking into multiple screens to buy something… I’m probably going to back out before I get to final payment button.
2. Your site is home base. Yes you are on Twitter, Facebook and might have a YouTube channel but are they pointing your people back to home base? Twitter and Facebook are perfect for engaging your people online, creating conversation and giving them info they otherwise might not have. Youtube is awesome because it gives you a chance to educate people about your product in a creative or inexpensive way and gives others a great way to keep people entertained.
3. Respond to all comments, tweets and Facebook mentions. This is where people notice whether or not you are really engaged with them and care about who they are as the consumer of your product or as a reader. If you ignore them in these areas, they will eventually stop coming to hang out with you online. It’s almost like being in the same room with someone who never acknowledges you. The conversation that’s happening online about you is your chance to offer great customer service and win some loyal fans. Try to lead the conversation… not react to it when it’s too late.

But no matter what, eventually Twitter, Facebook and YouTube need to funnel your people back to your site where you can communicate with them in more detail and convert them into a paying costumer… or if you are trying to build a popular blog… a loyal reader.

This is where it really all begins. If your site, Twitter, Facebook and YouTube channel are out of sync and not on the same page, you will get frustrated and feel slightly confused about what you are really trying to do online… and you might even give up the effort.

Just remember your site is the end result. Twitter, Facebook and YouTube don’t have to all be on the same level when it comes to results. One of the three will always outshine the other two. Once you figure this out, use it to drive traffic to your site while the other two networks provide secondary support and grow organically.

Which brands to connect well with online? Do they keep you engaged and wanting to come back to buy more products from them?

That’s what my Grandpa Al, Al H. Chesser, said just before we left his home. We had been out to eat with him for lunch and were standing in his home office. He was showing the kids all of his souvenirs from his days working in DC hanging with the likes of LBJ, JFK, Bobby and Ted Kennedy and his time as the President of the United Transportation Union. He had successful career acting on behalf of laborers and got some important bills passed into law as the National Director Of Legislative Affairs of the Brotherhood of Railroad Trainmen, which formed into UTU in 1969. Including lobbying congress to get Amtrak started because the passenger cars were being phased out from the freight railroads of the day.

You see, Al turns 98 in February. He married my grandmother in 2000. They were married until she passed away in 2008. She was 90. This is my dad’s mother I’m talking about.

When Al said “it was my best marriage I’ve ever had…”, we had been looking at a photo of my grandmother. She was a classy lady. As he started to talk about her, Krissy and I just about broke out into tears. I had seen how much he loved my grandmother… but to hear it from a man of his age… well that was just beautiful to hear.

A brief history… My grandmother’s first husband… My Grandy Jess, passed away when I was 17. He was the greatest grandfather ever. We spent all kinds of time with them growing up. Vacations, time at the lake… you name it. We did it.

Grandy Jess and my grandmother, Mema, as we called her, retired from the United Transportation Union. (He was the chairman of the board of trustees for the UTU) along with their friends Al and Al’s wife, Rose. They were the greatest of friends.

The all retired in the little town of Hot Springs, AR. As relationships would have it, when my grandfather passed away, Al and Rose would look in on Mema and take care of her… you know, like friends do for friends. They all traveled the world together and enjoyed life the best way they knew how.

Then came the time when Al’s wife passed away. It was a sad time for all as you could imagine. As relationships would have it, my Mema returned the favor and began to look in on Al and make sure he was doing ok.

Now, I don’t know when they started dating and all but I loved getting a call from Mema to tell me she was getting married! I was excited for her and Al.

I mean, why not? Two great friends deciding to spend the rest of their years together? Makes sense to me.

As I look back on it, still puzzled by what Al had said, I thought about this.

Al and Mema both love their former spouses more than I could even imagine. I could see it in my grand parents. Even up to my grandfather’s death. It was all love. But when you are remarried and in your 80’s and traveling your way into your 90’s. I’m sure the thought about marriage goes something like this.

We loved our spouses the best way we knew how. We raised the best kids the best way we knew how. We have the greatest grandkids and great grandkids. We were married to our best friends and now here we are… Best friends, married… reaping the benefits of all we built with our former spouses. Honoring them by loving our families well and living life… Fully alive… just like they would have done with us.

I love Al like he’s been my grandfather from day one. It’s because he loves our family as if he’s been there from day one.

My father told me Grandy Jess said this of Al… “He’s the only man I trust.”

Given the climate they both worked in… AFL-CIO board, DC Politics, Union Labor versus Teamsters… That’s saying a lot about Al.

If there is any take away from this for me it’s this.

We have but one life. Use it well. Love well and do the best you can with what you have and who you are with. Life is too short to be unhappy. We are given every opportunity to be happy and God gives us these gifts of friendships to build into lasting relationships that can help us live out our lives and finish well.

I’m pretty sure Mema, Grandy Jess and Rose are hanging out in heaven looking down on Al thinking… “We can’t wait till he joins us!” But then again, Al is still working out twice a week at 24 Hour Fitness… so it might be a while! Until then… I’m going to soak in every minute I have with him.

Question: What would it take for you to be able to say this about your marriage?

Today is Martin Luther King, JR Day, a national holiday in the United States honoring the sacrifice, achievement and influence of Martin Luther King, Jr. and his fight to stand up for equal treatment for all races and to end racism.

Simply put, this man was responsible for leading the way of the civil rights movement.

Now I know there are parts of our country, especially in the south, where racism still runs a little deep. But gone are the days of segregation in schools, restaurants and public establishments. I’m thankful for President LBJ for signing the Civil Rights Bill into law after JFK was assinated. This was a huge step!

I’m thankful for the influence MLK had while he was alive and I’m thankful we can live in a country where honoring him is the right thing to do.

However, I travel all over the world and racism is alive and well in many forms. It’s not a black and white thing.

It’s a Muslim – Hindu – Christian – Jewish thing. It’s a my tribe – your tribe thing. It’s a Black – Coloured – Asian – Hispantic thing. It’s a have’s – have not’s thing.

And it goes on and on. Simply put, if you could put the Hatfield’s and McCoy’s model into any situation, you would find that situation somewhere in the world… and the fight, the prejudice, would have been going on for generations and generations. Hundreds of years even.

To be honest with you, it’s mind numbing to think about when you see it happening first hand and it makes me angry when I hear about the genocide… that is still taking place in this world!!!

Rwanda happened. Darfur is still happening. Syria is crazy.

We are seeing this played out day after day in the news, on twitter and on facebook and yet for most of us, it slides on by as fast as our twitter stream scrolls through the golden globes.

But in every country around the world, there’s someone that has a dream for their people to be accepted by all people. It’s possible and dreams do come true.

So I ask you, when you think through what MLK day is really all about, what dream are you going to stand up for that fights for the equality of others in your life? That fights for the rights of those in your life that need a voice? What are you going to do when your heart lands on information that could help someone else around the world?

Sometimes, standing up for what is right is not popular. You might lose friends over it. You might even lose your life over it.

The kids and I have been talking about MLK and since their family is from India, we talk about the importance of men like Gandhi. How could such a peaceful non violent man have such an amazing impact on the world? He stood up for what he believed in. He dreamed over a better place for everyone. It’s not a far fetched idea.

What’s important for me is to be able to tell our kids, they have an opportunity everyday to stand up for what is right. To stand up for those who get bullied in school and to stand up, speak up for their friends who need a friend by their side.

We need more people in the world paving the way for someone else to succeed. We have them. I know we do.

I’m thankful for the leaders of the day, those who are paving the way for others. Guys like Wess Stafford and Bob Goff. Women like Aung San Suu Kyi and Christine Cane.

These people are just a few we can see in public, but there are hundreds… thousands of others fighting for what they stand for who we don’t ever hear about.

So today, stand for something. Add it to your life as a non negotiable.

Have an opinion.

Take a stand.

You never know, you might inspire someone else to do the same.

Wouldn’t that be cool?

What dream are you standing for today?

Let’s dream a little shall we?

Let’s say you could leave on a Thursday and return on the following Monday and could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?

This would give you all day Friday, Saturday and Sunday to play for the weekend before returning back home. Of course, for some of you this would mean taking off Thursday, Friday and Monday.

But it would mean you would have to go into this knowing that Tuesday morning you would have to jump into work feet first. No excuses.

Where would I go?

I would go to Rome.

My wife, Krissy, has never been and I’ve been twice. It’s my favorite city in the world and you can literally see all the major sites in a couple of days. Being the adventurer that she is, this would be a perfect weekend get a way for us.

Sure we would be stinking tired. But hey… it would be fun!

Leave on an American Airlines flight Thursday evening that would have us in Rome by Friday morning. Stay up all day seeing a few sites, eating at outdoor cafés, stopping off for a crepe or some gelato… what’s not to love! Spend half a day at the Vatican and the rest of the time exploring the other sites and sounds of Rome.

The Colosseum, The Pantheon, Galleria Borghese, The Trevi Fountain or the Piazza di Spagna (Spanish Steps)

Wow!!! I’m ready to go right now!!!

Ok. Where are you going?

In 2005, I went through a divorce. It was heartbreaking… tough… and painful… for both of us. Today, as I look back over the years, knowing that we are on good terms and are very proud of where each other have come through life over the past seven years, I’m realizing I’ve changed a lot.

There was a moment when everything changed.

That moment that allowed me to become the better man I needed to be.

I realize the man that I should have been is now the man that I am.

It all started with a decision. A decision to not be that guy who lives in the past and pain, but a guy who acknowledges the past, works through the pain of loss, learns from it and figures out how to make the present a better story for tomorrow.

There was a moment when I decided to take a baby step that I never knew would actually change my entire outlook on life and cause me to live life in away that held no regrets. Even if I had made a bad decision… I owned that decision as mine and no one else’s.

This small step for me was simple at the time.

• Find a group to run with.
• Commit to a schedule.
• Live everyday… fully alive.

I had no intension of doing any triathlons and would have laughed at you if you had asked me if I would ever attempt one.

But here I sit today. One Ironman, One marathon, Six half marathons and over 20 Olympic and Sprint distance triathlons later… a changed man.

Am I changed because of the races? NO.

I am changed because the process taught me many lessons about my life as it relates to determination and living in the moment of each day so that I can clearly look ahead at tomorrow.

I am changed because the simple act of running… even starting out with a couple of miles at a time, keep me from going into a deep, dark depression.

I am changed because the simple act of running gave me time to think through my life.

I am changed because the simple act of running gave me time to pray and to recognize what was going on around me. That which I had been missing… Life.

I am changed because moments like this come in small packages and snowball into passion, focus and determination to make life count.

These small steps have led me to be a better husband, a better man and a better friend.

So when you see me write about running, cycling and swimming… it’s not just about the fact that I love triathlon. It’s because I know you might be like me. You might need to do something that seems completely impossible to you. You might need to get out of your comfort zone and take a chance. You might need to get off the couch and do something… for you.

Want to be in a healthy place in life? Physically? Spiritually? Mentally?

Get outside. Go for a walk. Breathe in the fresh air. Notice the sounds around you. Think about those things you want to do and start with the first one.

You can’t take care of others or be in a healthy place in life if YOU aren’t healthy. But you can be… I wasn’t… but now I am. Seven years later.

It’s possible.

Want to know why?

Because if I can do it… You can do it.

One step at a time, One mile at a time.

Is there a moment in your life where it all changed or do you need to set that moment in motion? Talk to me.