Alone But Not Alone

Being alone comes in all different shapes and sizes. I think most of us deal with loneliness on some level. Some of us are single and lonely. Some of us are married and still lonely. Some of us have very active lives full of close friends… and yet there is loneliness.

I see it all the time. I hear it in conversations and I’ve experienced it in my own life… “I feel like I’m alone in all of this and yet, I’m surrounded by friends and family who love me and are always there for me.”

I probably see this more than any other situation right now. People with tons of friends and this great active life, but when you ask them are they truly happy, the answer usually has a “ yes at times, but I’m lonely”.

Alone… but not alone.

I have some friends who are trying to get everything done for everyone else… for their kids, their job, their friends, their family… and they feel like they are the only one dealing with things and thus they feel alone.

Have you been there? Is that you?

Then there are my friends, (at times me included) where at the end of the day… in a room… alone. Knowing life could be or should be or has been different but for now it’s just you… and alone.

Have you been there? Is that you?

Then there were the two moms I met in Guatemala in July. Both raising 5 plus kids with no father around and an income of less than $50 a month living in and near the city dump. When we got into conversation they both expressed the same thing. “I feel like I’m all alone in this. Just trying to get through each day. It’s tough raising kids in this environment because I want so much more for them and there is no one else around to help except the Compassion project, church and the letters of support from my kids sponsor… there’s no man in the house so I have to be mother and father.”

Have you been there? Is this you?

These two moms only lived 200 yards from each other and they had never met each other.

We all know what happens though right? We start opening up to others and find out maybe they are going through the same thing. We start to realize… “wow, I feel alone in this, but there really are others going through something similar as me.”

Loneliness can be depressing and can take the life out of people, but when we take that first step of reaching out to a friend to say… “can we talk? I’m dealing with something”. That’s when life has it’s chance to turn around.

I’ve been there. I know. Life has not been the easiest for me and in times of loneliness it was a deep dark place I hated being in, so I took steps to make sure my life is rich and full.

Then when I get time alone… it doesn’t feel lonely.

It feels restful.

Do I still have moments of feeling lonely? Sure I do. But I think that’s how life is. We have moments for everything. Happiness, sadness, loneliness and togetherness… and sometimes alone is just a moment that will pass into feeling… not alone.

So here’s the question…

How do you deal with loneliness? Are you alone but not alone? Do you or can you see an end to your loneliness?