Mentoring
07. Dec, 2009 
13 Comments
For the past three years I’ve been a part of a mentoring group that meets every Tuesday morning. Our group varies in attendance only because everyone in the group is an artist or creative type of some kind and we all travel. But… if there’s one thing I know about all of us – we do everything we can to be there Tuesday morning to sit, talk about life and catch up.
This year as we were all sitting around a dinner table for our annual Christmas party, I was reminded of how much I love each guy in our group and the impact they have all made on my life. Our group is lead by Randy Elrod and we are fierce in our loyalty to the friendships we have created with each other.
I’ve been in several bible studies and small groups in my life and they have all been good. But this particular group is special. Why?
The approach is really simple. No bible study, no prayer time, no books to read unless it’s what we want to do for a season or if someone has a request for prayer then we pray. Our time together is spent talking about each others lives and what is going on at that moment. Sometimes we need business advice or relationship advice or help with a problem. Sometimes we talk about cool technologies we’ve found or great music and books we are into…. and sometimes we debate on the issues of the day.
But… we always learn from each other, help each other and are always just one phone call away if there is an immediate need.
Over the years the men in my life over the who I would consider to be mentors of mine have all brought me through specific seasons of my life. They have all meant so much to me, but there is one thing for sure – I would not be the man I am today without them.
So… if having someone in your life to help guide you and give you advice is something you lack. Seek out someone you respect… take them to lunch or coffee and pay for it…ask them if they would be willing to walk along side you.
If you think you need a life coach and are willing to pay for a coach, then by all means… go that route. Life Coaches are a huge value and worth their fee.
Take note… not everyone you seek out is going to say yes to being your mentor. Don’t take it personally if the person you seek out says no. It could be an issue of having to busy of a schedule to add anything else to the mix. It DOES happen.
Michael Hyatt is starting a mentoring group in the Franklin area and if you feel like you fit the requirements for his group then you should take advantage of the opportunity.
Believe me…. Having a mentor has changed me in every kind of way.
And as you grow… be willing to mentor someone else along the way.
It never hurts to pay it forward.
No related posts.
Thanks for the shout-out Spence. I am really looking forward to my mentoring group in January. I have been helped immeasurably by mentors myself.
All the best.
I need a mentor. I know it. Having just moved here I'm only now starting to get to know people and the people I have the most respect for seem to be the busiest folks! I'm so excited to have lunch with Randy tomorrow just to pick his brain about various things that I actually used comp time from work to take the whole day off. (I'm going to just go to Merridee's in the morning, take my laptop and see what happens.)
I love that Michael's doing a group. I thought about applying but it just felt like his group was geared more toward young professionals more than creative types. My big thing is finding out which part of my unusual maze of creative insanity God wants to use and what I need to do to get out of the way and let Him work through me. I've thought about a life coach but right now it's not financially viable (unless God moves which I never rule out.)
BTW, Spence, you're on the list of guys I respect and your blog posts are must reads for me. It's not just because we're both drummers either.
I have this irrational fear.
Yes, I know. Imagine that.
I have this fear that I'll finally get up the nerve to start working with a Life Coach, and his first question will be to ask what I want to do.
And my pitiful, pathetic response will be, "I'm not really sure yet."
Is that a waste of time, or is that a good starting point?
Great post. I wish I knew how to get involved in something like that. I once blogged about what it's like not to have mentors in your life here: http://curtharding.wordpress.com/2009/08/14/just-...
Jason, Jeff, and Curt… i know exactly the place you all are in. I've been there to. All i can say is sometimes the best place to start is with a friend who will listen and give honest advice. They don't have to have proven themselves as successful..all they need is an ear to hear.. and a little experience in turning poor decisions into good decisions and knowing how to dream a little so they can dream with you.
Jason… Just apply… you never know until you try it and do it.
Thanks Michael… If you as a mentor comes even close to what you are like as a friend then your mentoring group will be amazing.
Thanks for Sharing this! I have found in the few mentors that I have had that they tend to show up in the most unexpected fashions, and sometimes when I didn't want a person to show me where I was leading my life. Now, at 22 and holding a dream of being a motivational speaker, I can only pray that I find a mentor as amazing as the ones that have got me to where I am today.
Thanks for giving me a chance to look back on my past and think about who has been an impact, and to look ahead at what I hope I can become to others.
I believe in this whole-heartedly.
That is why I am working on a project to connect people to mentors.
http://mentormeproject.com
Great post
Spence – you are so right. Mentoring is such a great opportunity to grow. I've been fortunate to be a part of mentoring relationships off and on for a few years and I've benefited from them in invaluable ways. I think the big question now is, what do we do to pay it forward?
I've often said that there aren't enough mentors today. I think most people would agree that it's true. However, I recently realized while this i significant problem in our culture, the greater problem is that I was only complaining about it, rather than realizing that I could be part of the solution. So, big or small, smart or not so much, I'm going to do my best ot make myself available to a small group of men in the near future. It's the least I can do.
Thanks for the reminder to be and get involved. All boats rise with the tide.
I've a hard time to what to say here. I enjoy reading your posts. They always seem so happy and positive. I like that. I'm happy that you have such a wonderful mentoring group and I can see that it is important. I love how you can meet with a group of guys without an "agenda" except to be present with each other, and whatever that entails.
I've never been a part of something like that. I've friends and one on one things like that happen…. we'll talk about life, whatever comes up. I love those times with her, but add a few others and it's no longer the same. I know you are a people person extrovert and I'm obviously not, so perhaps that is why… or perhaps it's just not the same with women. IDK. Whenever I get in a group of women, I always feel like I want to go run and hide. The conversation is never what I enjoy. I suppose I could embrace that, learn from it but, as I've complained before I'm not exactly typical.
okay… Enough complaining. I'll probably delete this soon.
This is something that I've craved for some time. But to be honest, I've struggled with the "no" response I've had in the past. And with the one yes, came the reality of my mentor's aging parents who needed her and her own adult children's immediate needs which ultimately led to a no. I've grown accustomed to a lot of "no's" over the years and so venturing out to seek this again is frankly kind of scary. Then again, a lot in my life is in like that right now, so maybe I should throw caution to the wind and go for it?
I have found a lot of new blogs lately, all written by believers who seem to have this sense of community that I sorely lack. And it only leaves me yearning more. But with little idea of where to begin. Long story, longer, thanks for the post though as it reminds me that this desire I have is not there for no reason.
I've been thinking about this for a long time. I admit, I'm a bit jealous when I here men talking about their mentors. I want that.
There are a few great men at my church. But I'm ashamed to admit I need a mentor. It's as if I feel I should have my life worked out by now, all by myself. It's a pride issue, I know. That and the fact that everybody is so overwhelmingly busy these days. Considering a life coach. If you can recommend one I'd be thankful.
Wonderful post, Spence. Mentoring and being mentored is a wonderful experience. One of the most significant experiences I've had in my life was being mentored by the novelist Frederick Manfred years ago when I lived near him in Minnesota, and I was a young writer. We sat in his writer's shack & talked, he read my stories, talked about writing & storytelling, made suggestions, and talked about the writing life, making me HUNGRY. Fred was an enthusiastic writer and storyteller. He mentored me for about two years until I moved away and we lost contact. I've never forgotten him.
Over the years I have mentored many people as a counselor; it was what worked the best & had the most lasting effect. Today I write full-time here in my home in Sapporo, Japan, and love it. Writing is a way I have of showing my gratitude to Fred Manfred, who mentored so many during his life.